Chapter 6 - Unexpected

'I shouldn't have left.' I should have never left to come back to this. It wasn't going as I thought it would be and now I'm stuck here with no way out. All the confidence that has been building up was quickly broken back to rubble by my father and her. 'I shouldn't have left.' It's been three long months and I have not Thulian once. I knew he came by once but was quickly kicked out of our property. 'I shouldn't have left.' I missed everything about him and miss the colorful world we adventured. I didn't want to be in this blank cage anymore. 'I shouldn't have left.'

"Miss Rousette," A sharp voice echoed in the room. 

When it came to tutoring young girls on etiquette and grace, Magnolia Wisp was the best. Ms. Wisp is well known and every girl she has ever tutored turn to be fine ladies in high class society. My mother refused to have anything to do with wedding which is why my father employed Ms. Wisp. She was the reason why I lost all my confidence and the reason why I couldn't see Thulian. She is always next to me, by the time I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, never giving me a chance to breathe.

"I do hope you are paying attention to my words, if not..." Her voice and eyes alone could freeze you in your spot. She was harsh and unrelenting; she demanded perfection. My first day with her, she broke me down to tears. 

"I have been paying attention, Ms. Wisp," No emotion, proper pronunciation and quick delivery; just the way she wanted.

"As a daughter of one of the elites, you must have poise and elegance, especially on the day of your wedding. You are the center of all the attention and they will judge everything you do, down to the way you walk. Now come along, we are going to practice walking elegantly. Like this." She demonstrated but I didn't care.

The moment I stood up, my stomach started to churn. It has been happening for the last two weeks and I was getting worried that there was something wrong with me.

I felt my breakfast coming up but I held it in as best I could. I managed to keep it down but my heavy breathing caught the attention of Ms. Wisp.

"Miss Rousette-" I didn't feel so good. The room was spinning and her voice was too loud.

"Oh my berry!" Was the last thing I heard.

...

"Miss Rousette, you need more rest and you need to eat more. You collapsed because you haven't been getting enough rest and from what your tutor has said, you haven't been eating much either. What you're doing is not healthy to your body and to..." Dr. Cane trailed off and didn't go any further. He's been speaking for about an hour after the examination but I only listened to half of what he said; part of me worried and the other part was happy I was away from Ms. Magnolia Wisp and her lessons.  

"I suggest you start going to sleep earlier and start eating more meals." His advice went unanswered as I just stared at the window, humming a silly little tune.

He sighed, defeated and didn't go further. "I'm not one for rumors but I have heard you were recently engaged. I give you my congratulations. May I ask when was the last time you were with your fiancé?" My mood went sour at the mention of my wedding. 

"I've...actually never met him." I didn't want to think about the wedding, my fiancé, my father, anything that involved this life.

"You've never met him? Oh dear, oh dear..."

"What is it?" I was scared now, afraid of what I will hear.

"Miss Rousette, you're... you're pregnant."

Pregnant? "No, NO!" I cried out and started to shake. I wasn't ready to be a mother, I still had a mind of a child. What makes you think that I ready to be a mother? I was not ready, not ready at all.

"No, no... I can't be. This is a joke." I moaned out, my life was crashing down to a pile of flames now. My head started pounding and I felt my body starting to sway again.

"Miss Rousette! Please calm down! This is not good for you or the baby."

The baby, I'm pregnant, It kept repeating in my mind like a broken record. And suddenly, my life finally entered my reality. "Please, PLEASE do not tell my father." I begged him. He assured me that this was strictly confidential and it was his doctor's oath to not disclose anything of his patients. He asked me a couple more question including the one I dreaded answering. He asked for the fathers name. I hesitated and tried to avoid his question but he assured me that it was fine to tell him.

"Thulian, Thulian Rosebud."

...

For the first time in three months, I was finally alone. I was able to calm down and get myself to rest, under doctors orders. I kept on mulling over the fact that I was now pregnant and different scenarios ran through my head. I thought of his his reactions, my parent's reactions. 'What's going to happen to me now?'

I heard something hitting the glass and went up to investigate. My eyes widen in surprise when I saw who it was. At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks with me but when I saw his sad little wave, I knew it was him.

"Thulian!" I ran out into his arms, my heart about to explode in happiness. I held him even when the sun was high up into the sky. I didn't want to ever let him go ever again.

"I missed you. I thought I was never going to see you again. I've been coming by near sunrise to see if I can just have a moment with you." He explained but it didn't matter now. All that matter was that we were together again.

"What are you doing here?"

Mother couldn't even look at me while Dr. Cane had a guilty look on his face. I can't believe I trusted his words, that he would betray me like this.  

We pulled away from each, startled at my father's voice. I started shaking, afraid of what he was going to do and what he was going to say. Thulian stood his ground and was not intimidated by him.

"You," He pointed at Thulian, "Get out of here, right now!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Because of you, my daughter is now a stain to this family name. She no longer listens to me and went about, acting like a little tart. We had to end her engagement because of you. She is a disgrace!"

"How can you say that about her!? She is your daughter!"

"She should be ashamed of herself for not being a perfect one!"

His words always hurt, even when I try to brace myself, they always made deep cuts. There were times where I started believing his words, feeling guilty for not being the daughter he wanted.

"Because of you- ," My father started but I didn't want Thulian to find out like this. I begged my father to not say it but he wasn't listening, "- my only daughter is pregnant out of wedlock to a man I disapprove of."

"Pregnant?" Everything was silent now except for my mother's wails. It wasn't suppose to be like this, he wasn't suppose to know about it like this. Time slowed down and I was afraid of Thulian's reaction. Is he going to leave me? Is he going to take me with him? Does he want this baby?

"Then I will take care of her and our baby! I love her and I'm not going to let them go!" I held my breathe when he said those words. Did he really just say that? I looked up to see he was still defending me and was now shielding me away from my father's view. I believed his words.

He pushed Thulian away from me, "Come over here right now, Anglaise." His voice was calm, which made me even more scared of him. Thulian got inbetween us which gave me a few seconds to think over my reply.

"No..." It was barely above a whisper and had no power behind it. Thulian reached behind to hold my hand.

"What did you say?"

"I said no!" I never, ever expected those words to sound so confident coming from me. But then again, I would have never have thought I would ever be in this kind of situation. I was scared but I wasn't going to back down, never again.

My father said nothing but just glared at us, his eyes filled with hate. "Then you are no longer my daughter. You are no longer part of this family." I knew he was going to say that but it still hurt.

"You are the cause of this! If you have never moved here, none of this would have ever happen!" My father rarely lost his cool but when he did, he didn't hold back his tongue. Thulian didn't hold back either.

My head started pounding and the shouts were getting louder and less coherent. I groaned and tried to to shake it off but it was too much to handle.

"I don't....feel so...." But nobody could hear me. The last thing I could remember was falling onto Thulian's back and everything soon just faded away.

Chapter 5 - What I Want

I can't believe that is been more than a year since Thulian moved into the neighborhood. Then six months ago, we become boyfriend and girlfriend. Every moment we had could, we spent our moments together and I cherished those times. Now I was just waiting for the perfect time to say those certain three little words

Today I got to choose where to go for our date. As strange as it sounds, I really wanted to go fishing with him. So he packed up a picnic basket and two fishing rods as well as some bait. I didn't want to wear my disguise today so we had to go somewhere were no one would see us.

I felt a strong pull from the end of the line and I got very excited. "I got a bite!" But whatever was on the other end was strong enough not only to pull my fishing pole but also managed to pull me to the ground. "Owowowo...owww."

"Are you ok?" Thulian rushed to my side and pulled me up. Except for a little mud, I was alright. He fussed a little longer before giving a kiss on my cheek. I giggled and and rested my head on his shoulder, just enjoying every moment I had with him.

After putting everything away, we went on a stroll around the empty woods before heading back home.

...

We came back sometime after noon and after making sure no one would see me leave Thulian's residence. But the moment I stepped onto our residence, I was in for a surprise.

Oh my Berry, what is going on!?

I rushed up to my room and stopped in shock at the doorway. My room was now bare with only a single bed and dresser. I couldn't believe it as walked into the room and looked around, somehow hoping that this wasn't real.

The door opened behind me and I knew my parent's walked in but I couldn't face them. It was my father's annoyed grunt that finally made me turn around. "I don't... I don't understand..." It was too much for me; I was so close to tears.

"Anglaise," My father's deep voice seem to boom in the empty room, "I had turn my head when it comes to your... hobbies. I have waited for you to show some ambition in your life but you have disappointed me. It is time for you to be acting like a young lady and not a child. It's time for you to grow up." Word after word was another stab to my breaking heart.

"You are not making any progress in your life and I am not going to have a failure of a daughter. These past months we've spent traveling was for good reason. I was in search for a husband for you." What? Please tell me it isn't true. Please.. I don't think I can handle this anymore  "Our last trip was to Chambéry and I have found the perfect future son-in-law. His name is Aramon Chenin." 

"We've already arranged a date. It will be next fall in Chambéry and you will move there a month before the wedding. By then, you would have been taught everything of being the perfect wife."

"Frost, please. You promised you wouldn't do this to her." My mother finally spoke, her voice small and sad. I would have never had thought in a million years that she would actually be against an arranged marriage for me.

"I had no choice Genoise! We are not getting younger and I need to make our family name lives on. I don't want to hear another word about this!" I never seen my father get this upset or even yell at my mother like that and I could see it hurt her deeply.

"I don't want to get married." I said, trying to take everything in. I knew for sure I wasn't going to get marry to a man I have never met.

My father was having none of that and immediately went off in a tirade. "It does not matter! This is what's best for you! If you weren't stuck in that fantasy world of yours and been the perfect daughter, I would not have to secure your own future. End of discussion!"

He left in huff and I was too numb to do anything but stare at the ground. "I'm so sorry Anglaise. This wasn't what I wanted for you." I couldn't even react to the fact that she actually apologized to me. It was too much to take in.

...

I couldn't sleep in this room; I couldn't be in this room any longer. It wasn't my room anymore, it was now just a room. It just reminded that my life is changing onto a road I didn't want to venture.

This wasn't my sanctuary anymore, it was now a joyless cage. Everything was gone and even if I tried to replace the things I've lost, it would never be the same. It felt like a piece of me was just ripped out and was completely destroyed.

But what did I want? Well one thing was for sure was that I didn't want to stay here any minute longer. I searched through my drawers, looking for my robe.

As silently as I could, I walked out of my house and went next door. Tonight, I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to love and be loved back.

The moment he opened the door, I flew into his arms and started to cry. I sobbed out everything that had happened. Thulian said nothing for a while but just held me, stroking my back.

"You can't let them always control your life Angel. You're your own person with your own wants and needs. You should do what you want to do."

I want to...

"I want to be with you, tonight." There was no hesitation in my voice and it took him a second to understand what I meant. His hand grabbed mine and he led me upstairs to his room.

All our previous kisses were soft and sweet but this was completely different. This was sensual and passionate which made me want to shy away but at the same time, craving for something more.

He stopped and pulled away as I looked up in confusion. "Are you sure?" He whispered to me. This was a major step for us and it was scary but I wasn't going to back down now. I slowly nodded and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

It was awkward and weird but I did not regret my choice. I had no regrets that my first time was with Thulian and not with the man I was promised to. This night was just for us and nothing was going to ruin it.

I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I wanted to forget everything except for him. But as much as I wanted to stay, I knew I had to go back. Even if we were to run away together, my father would find us and find a way to completely ruin our lives. I couldn't let that happen. But I wasn't going back to just let my parent's control my life, I was only going back until we found a way to be together without any worry.

"I have to go," I whispered, part of me hoping he was awake. It was soft but I did hear, "I know."

"I love you." I whispered and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. "I love you too." Was his breathy reply as his eyes fluttered open to stare into mine. Oh Berry, it nearly made me stay, just nearly.