Saturday, August 20, 2011

Chapter 5 - What I Want

I can't believe that is been more than a year since Thulian moved into the neighborhood. Then six months ago, we become boyfriend and girlfriend. Every moment we had could, we spent our moments together and I cherished those times. Now I was just waiting for the perfect time to say those certain three little words

Today I got to choose where to go for our date. As strange as it sounds, I really wanted to go fishing with him. So he packed up a picnic basket and two fishing rods as well as some bait. I didn't want to wear my disguise today so we had to go somewhere were no one would see us.

I felt a strong pull from the end of the line and I got very excited. "I got a bite!" But whatever was on the other end was strong enough not only to pull my fishing pole but also managed to pull me to the ground. "Owowowo...owww."

"Are you ok?" Thulian rushed to my side and pulled me up. Except for a little mud, I was alright. He fussed a little longer before giving a kiss on my cheek. I giggled and and rested my head on his shoulder, just enjoying every moment I had with him.

After putting everything away, we went on a stroll around the empty woods before heading back home.
...

We came back sometime after noon and after making sure no one would see me leave Thulian's residence. But the moment I stepped onto our residence, I was in for a surprise.

Oh my Berry, what is going on!?

I rushed up to my room and stopped in shock at the doorway. My room was now bare with only a single bed and dresser. I couldn't believe it as walked into the room and looked around, somehow hoping that this wasn't real.

The door opened behind me and I knew my parent's walked in but I couldn't face them. It was my father's annoyed grunt that finally made me turn around. "I don't... I don't understand..." It was too much for me; I was so close to tears.

"Anglaise," My father's deep voice seem to boom in the empty room, "I had turn my head when it comes to your... hobbies. I have waited for you to show some ambition in your life but you have disappointed me. It is time for you to be acting like a young lady and not a child. It's time for you to grow up." Word after word was another stab to my breaking heart.

"You are not making any progress in your life and I am not going to have a failure of a daughter. These past months we've spent traveling was for good reason. I was in search for a husband for you." What? Please tell me it isn't true. Please.. I don't think I can handle this anymore  "Our last trip was to Chambéry and I have found the perfect future son-in-law. His name is Aramon Chenin." 

"We've already arranged a date. It will be next fall in Chambéry and you will move there a month before the wedding. By then, you would have been taught everything of being the perfect wife."

"Frost, please. You promised you wouldn't do this to her." My mother finally spoke, her voice small and sad. I would have never had thought in a million years that she would actually be against an arranged marriage for me.

"I had no choice Genoise! We are not getting younger and I need to make our family name lives on. I don't want to hear another word about this!" I never seen my father get this upset or even yell at my mother like that and I could see it hurt her deeply.

"I don't want to get married." I said, trying to take everything in. I knew for sure I wasn't going to get marry to a man I have never met.

My father was having none of that and immediately went off in a tirade. "It does not matter! This is what's best for you! If you weren't stuck in that fantasy world of yours and been the perfect daughter, I would not have to secure your own future. End of discussion!"

He left in huff and I was too numb to do anything but stare at the ground. "I'm so sorry Anglaise. This wasn't what I wanted for you." I couldn't even react to the fact that she actually apologized to me. It was too much to take in.

...

I couldn't sleep in this room; I couldn't be in this room any longer. It wasn't my room anymore, it was now just a room. It just reminded that my life is changing onto a road I didn't want to venture.

This wasn't my sanctuary anymore, it was now a joyless cage. Everything was gone and even if I tried to replace the things I've lost, it would never be the same. It felt like a piece of me was just ripped out and was completely destroyed.

But what did I want? Well one thing was for sure was that I didn't want to stay here any minute longer. I searched through my drawers, looking for my robe.

As silently as I could, I walked out of my house and went next door. Tonight, I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to love and be loved back.

The moment he opened the door, I flew into his arms and started to cry. I sobbed out everything that had happened. Thulian said nothing for a while but just held me, stroking my back.

"You can't let them always control your life Angel. You're your own person with your own wants and needs. You should do what you want to do."

I want to...

"I want to be with you, tonight." There was no hesitation in my voice and it took him a second to understand what I meant. His hand grabbed mine and he led me upstairs to his room.

All our previous kisses were soft and sweet but this was completely different. This was sensual and passionate which made me want to shy away but at the same time, craving for something more.

He stopped and pulled away as I looked up in confusion. "Are you sure?" He whispered to me. This was a major step for us and it was scary but I wasn't going to back down now. I slowly nodded and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

It was awkward and weird but I did not regret my choice. I had no regrets that my first time was with Thulian and not with the man I was promised to. This night was just for us and nothing was going to ruin it.

I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I wanted to forget everything except for him. But as much as I wanted to stay, I knew I had to go back. Even if we were to run away together, my father would find us and find a way to completely ruin our lives. I couldn't let that happen. But I wasn't going back to just let my parent's control my life, I was only going back until we found a way to be together without any worry.

"I have to go," I whispered, part of me hoping he was awake. It was soft but I did hear, "I know."

"I love you." I whispered and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. "I love you too." Was his breathy reply as his eyes fluttered open to stare into mine. Oh Berry, it nearly made me stay, just nearly.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Chapter 4 - My Prince

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Thulian ask as he finally came out from his home.

"Uh huh." Was all I said and we hurried towards his car.

You may ask what am I doing wearing this outfit. Well, I was disguising myself so no one could recognize me. Thulian let me borrow his hat and jacket and the shoes he actually bought for me to use. The pants are my mother's that she never wore and the sunglasses are my father's but he never used them so he wouldn't notice it missing. It might seem silly to be in disguise but I was rather scared of being recognized outside and it somehow got to my parents. I didn't know what they would do but it wouldn't be good.

Today we decided today we were going out to the movies. For the past couple of months, whenever he had time and my parent's went out on -unusually- more trips, we've been exploring around town in each other's company.

These little trips we took, I like to call them adventures, made my life more exciting. There were days I would choose where to go like the park or the art museum. We had a wonderful time at the park but Thulian didn't seem too excited about the art museum. We almost got kicked out with all his jokes that even made me laugh at times.

One morning, he took me out early to see the sunrise at the beach. Except for a few cars passing by and the sound of someone jogging, we were the only ones at the beach. In his own words, "I like coming here in the mornings. No one is ever here and I can just let my stress wash away with the waves." 

But what he loved to do was play chess and took it seriously. I told him I never played and he was adamant to teach me all about it. Two hours and 10 losses later, I was still trying to understand what made it so fun. 

We slowly enter each other's worlds and learn a little more of each other with every adventure we took. Somedays I would recreate what we did with my toys just so that I have that wonderful feeling whenever I felt down.

The movie wasn't that good and we left the theatre quite disappointed. He decided to have a picnic at the beach to make the day not end on a bad note. But this time we were going to see a sunset rather then a sunrise. We walked away from the large crowds and kept walking until we could hear nothing but the seagulls and waves.

"It looks so beautiful. All those colors and its reflection off the water is beautiful."

"It definitely is." He turned to me and gave me a smile. "I'm glad we could see it together." I was almost sure that he could hear how loud my heart beating. 

During the days I was completely alone, I would paint. I would try all the different styles I have seen and even try to make some up. There were days were all I painted were different shapes and colors that matched well together.

Then there were days were all I did was just paint for myself with no thought put behind it.

Before I even realized it, I was soon painting more complex and interesting things. The one I was really proud of was my painting of a lotus. I believed it to be the most beautiful one out of all the paintings and I now know which one I wanted to give to Thulian.

But my mood turned sour when I heard  footsteps and the door being slammed shut. My parent's had come home early which left little time to hide everything. After I cleaned everything up, I went out to greet them. But the moment I stepped outside, I could hear my parent's angry shouting.

"How DARE you Frost! HOW DARE YOU! You promised me you wouldn't do this and now you're dragging me into this!?" My mother screeched at my father from the hallway.

"I did what had to be done!" Was his callous reply. My mother's screaming could be heard downstairs but I tried to ignore it. I didn't want to know what they were fighting about because I was afraid of what I would find out.

...

"Are you sure I should be here?"

"Don't worry! My parent's are away right now and won't be back until next week. I just want to show you something."

"Here it is! Tada!" I said excitedly and nervously as I waited for his response. He was the first person to see any of my paintings and even though he wasn't an artistic person, I hoped he would like it.

"It's amazing," I started jumping in excitement, "And beautiful. Even I could tell how much work you put behind it. I really like it." I was in the clouds when I heard him say that and I knew it would was the perfect gift to him.

"You-you can have it! It's my gift to you."

"Are you sure?" He asked in surprise and I just nodded a yes.

"Uhh..so, this is your room?" I could sense his mixed feelings as he looked over the room. Other then my parent's, no one has ever come in here and I almost felt ashamed when I saw how childish my room was. I was no longer a child and I shouldn't be playing with children toys anymore but they were part of who I am.

"They help me," I started to explain as I went over to pick up Snow Prince, "I was always lonely as a child and even now I don't have any friends except you. But they are always there for me and help me escape into the worlds I create."

"This is Snow Prince. He's a prince whose waiting for his princess to give him a kiss so he could turn real." I explained quickly, growing nervous of what his response would be as I handed over Snow Prince to him.

He hesitantly grabbed it and looked it over. "Well, it's nice to meet you Mr. Prince." He finally said with a smile forming on his face.

He started talking in an unintelligible voice for Snow Prince and I played along. He didn't know it but it nearly made me cry that he didn't say anything about my childish nature. I knew if anybody else would have found out, they would tell me to grow up and stop trying to be a child. But Thulian accepted it to be who I am.

"So, is he your prince?" He suddenly asked. My stomach churned and I felt a moment shyness. Maybe this was my moment? I should take this chance to tell him but I still felt uncertain.

"I don't have a prince..." Just say it. Be brave Angel!

"But, um, can y-you be my... prince?" I was completely terrified and regretted even asking. He is my first friend ever since Candy left but I felt something more. Something that I had never felt before and it has only grown more and more. I'm not sure if I could call love but it was probably something close to it.

It felt like an eternity when in reality it was only a minute before he did something. I flinched and prepared for the worst case scenario when he took my hand.

"I'll be your prince if you become my princess."

It was corny and it was cliche but it was perfect to me. Those words made my heart soar into the clouds and I felt a tingly sensation run all over my body. I would never have thought that I would get a chance to meet a man like him or the chance to feel something more then just friendship.

This kiss (my first kiss!) is exactly how I imagined it; perfect and sweet.